


Just Friends...?

by IkaIka



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Accidental Sex, Alternate Universe, Best Friends, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Friends to Lovers, Gabriel - Freeform, M/M, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform, blackout drunk, castiel - Freeform, castiel novak - Freeform, meg masters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 14:17:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16704034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IkaIka/pseuds/IkaIka
Summary: Castiel and Dean have been best friends for as long as either of them could remember. They were so close, in fact, that waking up beside each other was a normal thing. However, waking up beside each other naked with having no memory of the night before... was not.Did Castiel just sleep with his best friend? Why was he not more freaked out about this?





	Just Friends...?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Destiel fanfiction that I've actually finished and had the guts to post. When I originally started writing it ( a loooooooong time ago) I had planned for it to be much longer, however it's been sitting on my desk top for so long I just wanted to post it so i'm sorry if the ending feels rushed? Please forgive me?

When Castiel woke up it was to the sun pouring in through the window on his far wall, which was odd. Castiel usually closed his curtains because not even ten feet away from his apartment was another apartment building that a friend lived in, their window adjacent to his so you could easily see right into the other's room. Castiel didn't necessarily mind Garth seeing into his apartment, but it had just become a habit to close the curtains for that little bit of privacy. However odd it may be, Castiel didn't care enough to actually crawl out of bed and go close it. He didn't even care enough to open his eyes, knowing he'd be blinded for the next few minutes if he did and judging by the head ache he could already feel coming, opening his eyes would be a horrible idea. So instead of subjecting himself to the wonderfully horrible pains of his inevitable hangover, Castiel simply tugged the duvet over his head and sunk his face into the pillow, willing himself back to sleep.

His bed was awfully comfortable, so it wasn't hard to justify his staying in bed with himself when he knew he shouldn't be sleeping the day away. He's been sleeping in more and more lately, skipping his 6AM jog and going at 8AM instead. It messed with his entire day when he did that and he knew he would be beating himself up for it later but his impending hangover told him he wouldn't be going anyway and the warmth of his bed told him that that was okay. However, sleep wasn't coming as easily as he would have liked. There was this nagging feeling tugging at his mind and keeping him awake. He couldn't remember crawling into bed last night and that was kind of bothering him, he didn't think he had that much to drink last night. But he could think about that later when he was awake and his mind was clear and not trying to fight to fall back asleep.

Just as he was finally winning the battle, his mind slowly drifting off, the duvet was suddenly yanked from his head, exposing him to the intrusive sunlight and chilly air of his room. He didn't think about it, didn't think about how exactly the covers had been suddenly pulled from his grasp, he just reached over his shoulder, gripped that corner in his fingers and pulled. There was a groan from somewhere behind him, one annoyed and whiney groan that had his brows furrowing together in confusion until he placed the familiar whine. A small victorious smile crept over his lips as he tightened his grip on the blanket, knowing what was coming. Sure enough, the duvet was being pulled on again, only this time it didn't slip from his grip. The duvet was pulled on again and again until finally an annoyed huff sounded from behind him.

"Cas," Was the next sound to come, his nickname being stretched into a long whine as Dean tried pointlessly to pull at the duvet one last time. Castiel couldn't help but snicker into his pillow, sleep becoming a fading goal. It wasn't unusual for Dean to be in Castiel's bed, it's happened before when his roommate has had too much to drink, felt homesick or even lonely, so Castiel didn't give it a second thought. He's learned not to question Dean's motives over the years he's known him, it usually ended with a snarky remark and Dean retreating to his own room where Castiel would have to spend two hours coaxing the man back out. It was just easier to remain silent and roll over to make room.

Castiel felt the shuffling behind him, even felt the brush of Dean's bare leg against his so he braced himself for an attack, his body tensing, eyes squeezing shut, but then there was suddenly nothing. There was no more shuffling, there was no more whining or tugging so Castiel thought that maybe the man had left, that Castiel had won for once in their friendship, but then he realized how odd that was. This was Dean, Dean Winchester, Castiel's best friend for over ten years. Dean Winchester did not give up, he did not lose, and for the odd time that he did lose, he did not do so quietly. When the room remained silent and the bed remained still, Castiel figured it was time to take a peek. It was quite possible Dean had just found another blanket and was content with that for now, but even that was a hard pill to swallow. Even if Dean did find another one, Dean would have still fought Castiel for his, just because Castiel wanted it and for no other reason.

Castiel cautiously cracked an eyelid, experimentally looking to the window to test his sensitivity only to find that that was probably his dumbest idea to date. The groan was leaving his mouth before he had the chance to squeeze his eyes shut, and he was rolling over before attempting to open them again. When he did, he had to blink a few times to get rid of the fogginess and allow his eyes to adjust to the brightness. Castiel squinted up to see Dean sitting up in his bed, his sandy brown hair seeming to glow in the sunlight and uncharacteristically flat, his green eyes starring wide down at himself. Castiel was about to ask what was wrong when his eyes shifted down and took in the fact that Dean was sitting in his bed, had slept in his bed all night beside Castiel, butt naked.

"Oh, come on, Dean." Castiel groaned, lifting the duvet to cover his eyes from the image of his naked friend. "Couldn't you have at least put on some pants before crawling in beside me?" Castiel complained. Castiel found that he was only complaining for the sake of complaining. He didn't really mind per se. It was the point, really.

"Cas," Dean said, his voice sounding funny, a worried tone to it... More panicked Castiel would say. This had Castiel removing the covers from his head to see that Dean was now starring at him wide eyed. Before Castiel could utter a word, Dean was reaching over, grabbing the duvet and flinging it toward the edge, revealing to Castiel's dazed shock that he too was naked.

"Jesus, Dean!" Castiel yelled instinctively, his groggy mind not thinking about the why he was naked and only focusing on the fact that he was and trying to solve this as quick as possible. Castiel yanked the corner of the duvet that he still had a grip on and brought the corner down to cover himself. Once the initial shock and panic wore off, Castiel was able to think. He was lying in bed, naked. His best friend was lying in that same bed with him, also naked. And Castiel couldn't remember a damn thing from last night.

"Cas..." Dean said, though he didn't appear to have a point, he simply met Castiel's blue eyes, his still green and wide, though a bit red rimmed. Castiel needed answers.

"Um, did we-" Castiel began, not really wanting to finish the question in case Dean gave him an answer, or... An answer he didn't want to hear. "What exactly- I mean, why are you- What?" Castiel went on because he found that he couldn't actually go on with his life not knowing why Dean was in his bed naked, but he couldn't really figure out how to word it. "How-"

"Hold on there, Novak." Dean mumbled, his eyes squeezing shut as he pressed the heel of his palm to his eye. "I am much too hung-over for whatever is about to leave your mouth. I- I'm going to go put some clothes on, you're going to have your freak-out, and then we'll meet up in the kitchen. Sound good?" Dean explained, peeking over at Castiel with an odd look in his eyes. Castiel could tell Dean was trying his hardest to keep calm, or at least act like everything was okay because that's what Dean did. Dean didn't panic, he didn't freak-out, that was Castiel's thing, but Castiel could tell he was having trouble with it. "Good." Dean concluded with a slight nod of his head when Castiel only gaped at him. Then, with one last awkward glance at Castiel, Dean was shuffling off the bed and hurrying out of Castiel's room. Castiel tried not to watch, but he was kind of frozen where he sat.

What did he just wake up to? Why was Dean in his bed, naked? Castiel tried to look back into last night but came up with nothing but his head throbbing in protest as if saying those memories were off limits, like it knew Castiel might freak out if he did remember. The last thing he remembers about last night was watching Garth trying to hit on Dean's co-worker he invited over. Castiel had a brief thought about whether or not he succeeded with that, but was quickly brought back to the fact that Dean had just fled his room, butt naked after spending the night with him. What the hell happened?

Dean was right, Castiel was going to have a freak-out because... Did he sleep with Dean last night? Did he have sex with his best friend? The situation definitely didn't leave any innocent scenarios to believe, why else would they be sharing a bed without any clothes? Why else would Dean look so panicked? Did he remember last night? Castiel sure as hell didn't and really... That's enough explanation. He was drunk last night... He wasn't thinking clearly, obviously, so if he did sleep with his best friend, it... It meant nothing. Except... It did, because this was Dean, and they've been best friends since middle school, and- And is that a condom on his floor?

"Dean!" Castiel shouted, his blue eyes wide as he starred at the condom. Castiel sprang from his bed, his throbbing head be damned. He pulled on the first pair of sweatpants he came across, which he realized too late were actually Dean's, and ran out the door. He was down the hall and into the kitchen in a matter of seconds, Dean nowhere to be seen. Why wasn't he here? Did he leave? They needed to talk about this. They needed- Castiel needed to know. "Dean!" Castiel shouted again into the quiet apartment. There was no immediate response so Castiel was turning on his heel, heading for Dean's room but instead ran into Dean himself just entering the kitchen.

"Hey, it's too early for shouting, shut your trap." Dean barked at him as he padded his way into the kitchen, going straight for the instant coffee sitting in the corner cupboard. Dean reached into the box, pulling out a package and going for his cup sitting by the edge of the sink. Castiel truly didn't know how he was so calm right now. He knew he had a tendency to blow things out of proportion, but he doesn't think he was doing this now. He was fairly certain this was exactly the thing to freak out about.

"Dean, we-" Castiel began because he couldn't take the silence anymore, but Dean held up a finger.

"Ah, hold on." Dean said as he reached for the pot of water on the stove he must have put on on his way to his room when he first left Castiel's room. Castiel watched him pour some into his cup, the liquid mixing with the brown powder. Castiel waited as Dean stirred it around, trying to get the chunks to dissolve as quickly as possible. Castiel even waited as he got the milk out of the fridge and added the smallest amount, really just to change the colour. If it were Castiel's coffee, Castiel would have added sugar as well, but Dean wouldn't. Dean insisted that Castiel was crazy whenever he did and claimed that he was ruining a perfectly good beverage, but Castiel just couldn't stand the bitterness. Finally, when Dean's coffee was complete and he was able to take a sip, Dean turned to Castiel, bringing his coffee to his lips and arching an eyebrow at him. "You may speak." Dean told him before sipping at his coffee again.

"What the hell?" Castiel started immediately as Dean leaned back against the counter. "What happened last night? Why- Did we- Dean, you-" Castiel sighed in frustration. He's never had problems talking with Dean before, he's always been able to tell him anything and it was frustrating that he couldn't now. "Did we-"

"Fuck?" Dean offered unhelpfully. Castiel felt his face turn a shade of red that he was certain would put a cherry to shame.

"Dean-" Castiel said, he wasn't sure if it was a complaint or a warning or what.

"What? That's what you want to ask right?" Dean asked, arching another eyebrow at him. Castiel sometimes wished Dean had even an ounce of shame. "You want to know if we fucked last night, right?" Dean asked, waiting for Castiel to give him an answer even though he knew it's exactly what Castiel wanted to know.

"Yes- But, I wouldn't put it so crudely." Castiel sighed.

"I don't know." Dean said, confusing Castiel.

"What?"

"I don't know, Cas." Dean repeated, twisting to set his coffee down on the counter. "I don't remember, but... My ass is awfully sore." Dean admitted, crossing his arms over his chest. Finally, finally Dean seemed to be taking this seriously. There was a look of uncertainty on his face and he wasn't really looking at Castiel, more like an inch over Castiel's head. Castiel let a groan and took a few steps towards Dean, taking a spot against the counter beside him.

"There was a condom on my floor." Castiel added miserably.

"Used?" Dean asked curiously, though Castiel could hear the dread in his voice. Castiel nodded his head, glancing at his friend but not able to meet his eyes. What did they do now? Silence fell over the room, an awkward silence that Castiel sort of hated. It's never been awkward between them, not since they first met but that was Castiel's fault, he was a shy and awkward thing before he met Dean. What did this mean? What were they supposed to do now? Just... Move on? Act like it never happened? Or, or should they test this out? There must be a reason they did this, even if they were both black-out drunk.

Castiel could tell Dean was mulling this over in his head as well, thinking over the same things he was. His bottom lip was pulled in between his teeth and he kept playing with the hem of shirt, like he couldn't quite sit still but he knew now was not the time to be doing anything but thinking about this. How do they move on from here?

"Those are mine." Dean suddenly said.

"What?" Castiel asked, turning to look at Dean. Dean pointed at the sweatpants Castiel had thrown on, then glanced up at Castiel, but he wasn't able to keep eye contact for long and returned them to the pants.

"Those are mine, I mean... I don't care, I just- They're a bit big on you." Dean said a bit awkwardly. Castiel sighed, was this what he could look forward to from now on? Awkward conversations with best friend that couldn't even look him in the eye?

"I know, I- I just grabbed the first ones I came across. They were on the floor." Castiel explained and everything went silent with the reminder, the explanation of _why_ they were on Castiel's floor not needing to be discussed.

"Well, what do we-"

"Honey! I'm home!" Came a voice from the living room as they both heard the front door fly open and smack against the wall behind it. Castiel flinched, knowing exactly who it was without needing to see them. There honestly could not have been a worse time for his big brother to stop by.

"We really need to start putting the chain on the door." Dean grumbled out before pushing himself away from the counter, sipping at his coffee once again. Castiel watched him go, a helpless sort of feeling spreading through him. They needed to talk this out. It felt crucial to Castiel, he did not want to leave this, he did not want it messing with their friendship, but at the same time... He was not going to talk about this with his brother in the vicinity.

"Gabe." Castiel heard Dean greet the intruding man on his way by and then there was the sound of Dean's door to his room closing. A second later Gabriel was stepping into the kitchen, a smirk on his face.

"Jeeze, he looks like hell warmed over." Gabriel commented, looking back at where Dean had disappeared into his room. Castiel pushed a smile to his lips in acknowledgment to Gabriel's attempt at humour but it obviously didn't come across as much. "And you look like you did the warming... What? Trouble in paradise?" Gabriel inquired. Normally, Castiel wouldn't think twice about the comment. Comments about Dean and Castiel being in a relationship, as in more than a friendship, were made frequently about them, mostly by Gabriel but there were others on occasion, but Castiel never paid them any attention because it was just a joke. A very long running joke, but a joke none the less. Today they weren't so funny.

"Good morning, Gabriel." Castiel said, ignoring his question. Castiel turned towards the cupboards, reaching for two mugs and two packages of instant coffee and set to work on preparing his brother and himself some coffee. "Is there a particular reason you're barging into our apartment at-" Castiel paused to glance at the clock on the stove. "Quarter to seven in the morning on a Saturday?" Castiel asked, glancing over his shoulder at his brother who was reading over the various notes and news clippings stuck to fridge. Castiel hadn't missed the fact that his brother seemed rather... Awake; when he sauntered into the room. He was well dressed, dark jeans paired with a dark green button up under his brown leather jacket. His dark brown hair was combed back and his brown eyes were bright and sharp this morning. It was unusual for Gabriel.

"Do I need a reason to come see my baby brother?" Gabriel answered with his own question, eyes never leaving the fridge.

"I'm going to say yes considering the time and day." Castiel said, picking up both mugs of fresh coffee, well as fresh as instant coffee can get, and nudging his brother's arm with his elbow.

    "Thanks." Gabriel muttered, taking one from him and sipping at it cautiously. Castiel ignored the way his nose scrunched up in distaste, knowing his brother was only putting on a show. It seemed he was always putting on a show. "Seriously though, what's up with Ken?" Gabriel asked, finally tearing his eyes from the fridge and arching an eyebrow at Castiel. Castiel blinked at his brother, ignoring his implement that Dean resembled a Barbie doll, however true it might be, and just shook his head.

    "Nothing. He's hung-over. So am I so I'd make this quick if you want to leave here in one piece." Castiel threatened with no real conviction in his words.  He might be hung-over but he could never actually harm his brother in any way. He's done too much for him.

    "Alrighty..." Gabriel said, seeming to sense the subject was off limits. "Well, hopefully your hang-over disappears by tonight." Gabriel said, raising both eyebrows at Castiel expectantly.

    "Why?"

    "I knew you'd forget." Gabriel grumbled, taking a big gulp of his coffee. Castiel used the time to rack his brain of possible things he could have forgotten that had to do with tonight. He came up with nothing. "The banquet... For my work... That you promised to be part of." Gabriel said slowly, allowing Castiel time to remember on his own and oh. Right. The banquet.

    "That's tonight?" Castiel asked incredulously. He had forgotten all about it.

    "Yes. Tonight, and you can't back out now." Gabriel warned him before taking one final gulp of coffee and setting the cup down on the counter rather harshly. "I mean it, Cassie. You had better be there, you said you would." Gabriel said before turning on his heel, apparently done with the conversation. Castiel didn't point out the fact that Gabriel had begged relentlessly for six days before Castiel gave in and followed him back to the living room. "Bring Dean-o if you must, but be there." Gabriel said, stopping at the door before swinging it open. "And where something nice." He said before he was leaving, not allowing a moment's time for Castiel to argue. 

    Castiel stood frozen at the door, watching as it slammed shut with his mouth hanging open. This is not what he needed right now. How could he have forgotten about this? He supposed it had something to do with the fact that Castiel had agreed to it over four months ago, but still. Couldn't Gabriel had given him at least a days notice? Castiel was finally shaken from his stupor when he heard Dean's door open and when he turned, he saw Dean fully dressed and ready to leave.

    "Where are you going?" The words were out of Castiel's mouth before he could stop them, which meant they seemed much more confused and hurt than he would have liked. Dean paused, glancing at Castiel before adjusting his jacket and heading for the door.

    "Out, Sammy and I have plans." Dean mumbled as he passed Castiel. Castiel frowned at this.

    "At seven o'clock in the morning?" He inquired, eyes narrowing at Dean's back. Dean shrugged.

    "I have errands to run before I meet with him." Dean explained. He was lying. Castiel could tell, he knew Dean too well. Sure, he might very well meet up with his younger brother, but that's only because Dean would ask him to once he got down to his car.

    "Dean. We need to talk this out." Castiel said, getting straight to the point, something Dean wasn't a fan of.

    "Look, I think the best thing to do right now is get some space. Give us each some time to think about what happened." Dean said, making Castiel frown. What did that mean?

    "Dean-"

    "Cas, Just- Calm down. I'm not divorcing you, I just- I need some space, some time, before I pour my heart and soul out, okay?" Dean asked, sounding mildly annoyed. His back was still to Castiel and Castiel really wished he would turn around.

    "Okay." Castiel relented. He wouldn't push Dean. He never had, and he never will.

    "I'll-" Dean began before finally turning to Castiel, a half smile on his face. "I'll see you tonight, after the banquet." Dean said and then he was leaving, the door clicking softly behind him. Castiel continued to frown at it, upset about how he would have to wait to talk this out, but mostly just confused at how Dean had remembered the banquet but Castiel had forgotten.

~

    Castiel wanted to go home. He's been at this banquet making small talk with all of Gabriel's clients and colleagues for nearly four hours. His feet were beginning to ache, the tie he wore felt like it was choking him, and his lips were starting to feel sore from forcing a smile for so long. He had lost Gabriel over two hours ago and hasn't seen him since, even though it wasn't a very large room to lose him in. However, it was crowded so Castiel gave himself the benefit of the doubt and continued to make nice with random strangers until his brother found him and told him they could go.

    Castiel stood somewhat off to the side, certain to stay away from the refreshments table so as to avoid to the constant flow of foot traffic, but not so far into the corner as to be seen as 'unsociable' or 'creepy'. The truth was, he just wanted to be left to his thoughts because he knew once he got home, Dean would be waiting there for him to discuss what had happened the previous night and he hadn't had a moment's time to reflect and figure out exactly how he felt about it.

    He had slept with his best friend. The words kept replaying in his head, popping up at inopportune times such as when he was talking to Mrs. Lawley about the Children's Charity banquet she was planning for the end of the year and all Castiel could think about was the fact that he had had sex with Dean. And the worst part about it? He couldn't even remember it.

    He thinks that's what's bothering him most. He couldn't remember a damn moment of it. How had it started? Did he kiss Dean first? Did Dean just jump him in the middle of the night? Was it awkward? Was it good? Did he enjoy it? Did Dean enjoy it? Was it sweet? Was it rough? He had no idea. He couldn't even make up his own scenario because he couldn't picture actually having sex with Dean. Well, he could... He had to admit Dean is and has always been good looking, and he may have had a teensy little crush on him when they were younger,  but that wasn't what Castiel meant. He knew a lot of things about his best friend, but he did not know what kind of lover Dean was, even after sleeping with him. Castiel was surprised to realize that he actually wanted to know. His interest was piqued now and he couldn't shake the disappointment that he couldn't remember.

    Aside from that, there was the ever-pressing matter of how this would affect their relationship from here on out. Would they ever be the same? No, obviously not. Whether they accepted it and moved on from this or not, this would change their relationship forever. This will hang over their heads for everyone to see, be around every corner of their friendship just waiting to jump out and scare them, and it will never go away. The thought had Castiel frowning over the shoulder of Mr. Wasek who was currently going on and on about some kind of fundraiser he went to a week ago and how they had used paper plates instead of real ones. His tone was displeased and Castiel refrained from pointing out the fact that the point of a fundraiser was to make money and to spend said money on real plates was absolutely pointless. Castiel was much too caught up in Dean's words before he left the apartment this morning to concern himself with stuck up rich people, anyway.

    Why did Dean need so much time to think about what happened? What had he meant about pouring out his heart and soul? It's quite possible Dean was being sarcastic, it was the only other language the man spoke after all, but Castiel had thought he had become good at telling the difference. After fourteen years of spending his life nearly attached to the man's hip, he thought he knew when Dean was being sarcastic and that hadn't sounded sarcastic. So what did it mean? Of course, he could have been referring to Castiel's persistence to talk about one's feelings and knew that Castiel would make him talk about the situation without skirting over any details. Yes, that was probably it. There's no way it could mean anything else. Right?

    "Cassie!" Was what drug Castiel's mind from it's over analytical melt-down to the banquet where Mr. Wasek stood in front of him, frowning over Castiel's shoulder at being interrupted. "So sorry, Mr. Wasek, but I must steal my baby brother. Have to get him ready for the auction." Gabriel said, two hands coming down to rest on Castiel's shoulder, where Castiel could feel his brother come up behind him. Castiel felt relieved, anything to get away from the old coot, and smiled apologetically at the older man before slipping away with Gabriel. The man didn't seem to care too much. 

    And that's when Gabriel's words finally hit him.

    "Auction? What auction?" Castiel asked. He hadn't brought any money with him. He didn't even have his wallet, how was he to bid on anything?

    "The date auction, Cassie, I told you..." Gabriel muttered, frowning at his little brother. "What, you thought I just brought you here to mingle with a bunch of stuck up rich people?" Gabriel asked, not even looking apologetic when one of those 'stuck up rich people' glanced over at him and sent him a glare.

    "I don't need to buy a date..." Castiel murmured. Castiel shook Dean's green eyes from his head when they randomly appeared there. They had been doing that all night for some reason and it was beginning to get on his nerves. Gabriel snorted.

    "I know. That's why you're not buying a date." Gabriel snickered. They had reached the small stage that was at the front of the venue, a microphone stand set up in the middle and a line-up of about eight different men standing off to the side. "Someone is going to buy you." Gabriel finished with a grin and then Castiel was being pushed up the three steps onto the stage.

    "What?" Castiel's head snapped around so fast it cracked but Castiel didn't even feel it. "Gabriel!" Castiel was already moving back towards the steps but Gabriel was blocking the path.

    "You agreed to this, brother. Not my fault you didn't pay attention." Gabriel said, holding up his hands to stop Castiel from fleeing. "And you can't back out now." Gabriel grabbed Castiel by the shoulders, spinning him around and pushing him in the direction of the line-up of men. Castiel grumbled to himself as he took his place in line and ignored the snicker that came from one of the men in line. He could honestly kill his brother sometimes.

    "Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen!" Gabriel's voice rang out over the room with the help of the microphone he now held. Castiel could imagine the beaming smile he was giving them all and glared at his brother's back. He was going to owe Castiel for this, big time. "It's time for what we've all been waiting for. Up here with me stand nine eligible bachelors, all single and ready to mingle, if you know what I mean." Gabriel went on as the entire room began to slowly pay attention. "I'm going to ask you all to get out your cheque books because that's why we're here, right? To take your money." Castiel had to resist rolling his eyes at his brother. He was sure it wouldn't look good on either of them.

    "First up we have this cutie-pie," Gabriel started, gesturing to the man standing beside Castiel. "His name is Cole Trenton, he is a former US Marine," Gabriel paused, no-doubt giving the crowd a ridiculous face that suggested this was something of importance. "He's very well trained in all kinds of combat and I'm sure knows several ways to tie someone up." This time Castiel did roll his eyes, just as Cole ducked his head. "Shall we start the bidding at one hundred?" Castiel was surprised at how eagerly all the hands shot up and then there was a true bidding war going on until they reached nine-hundred and twenty five dollars. Castiel couldn't believe someone would pay that much for one night out to dinner.

    "Alrighty, next up we have my very own dear baby brother, Castiel Novak." Gabriel spoke into the microphone as he ushered Cole off the stage and over to the woman who had 'won' him. Castiel felt his shoulder's sag in defeat before righting himself and stepping up beside his brother, plastering a smile on his face as Gabriel slung his arm over Castiel's shoulders. "Now, Castiel, or Cassie as I like to call him, is an accountant, but don't let that fool you. He's one of those successful ones with lots of money and once you get a little liquor in him, he's oodles of fun." Gabriel described to Castiel's embarrassment. "And! This one's not just for the ladies, fellas. Dear Cassie here likes plenty of variety in his life, am I right, Cassie?" Gabriel turned to his brother but all Castiel did was glare back at him which did seem to get a few chuckles out of the crowd.

    "Shall we start the bidding at one hundred again?" Gabriel asked, eyes searching the crowd immediately. Multiple hands shot up, including a couple men, that surprised Castiel. The bidding went on for a long while before finally ending at one thousand, three  hundred and fifty dollars to a woman named Meg who had been eyeing Castiel the whole auction as if he were an eight ounce prime steak and she was obviously hungry. "Oh, you're going to have fun with her." Gabriel snickered into Castiel's ear before ushering him off the stage and pushing him in the direction of this Meg girl. Honestly, Castiel didn't care anymore. He just wanted to get this over with and go home.

    ~

    Castiel stumbled in through the door of his and Dean's apartment, tripping over one of Dean's pair of boots because Dean always, always left them there and Castiel always, always picked them up and put them in the closet where they should be. Tonight was no different so Castiel picked them up and tossed them in the closet, the boots landing with a thud, Castiel's shoes following. Castiel tossed his trench coat at the hook beside the door, quite pleased when it actually caught and stayed there. It was then that Castiel took in the darkness of the apartment, which was odd. Dean usually stayed up very late watching whatever he could find on the television, usually some kind of mechanic show or a program that could very easily be considered porn, though Dean assured him it wasn't.

    However, tonight the television was turned off, the living room lights were all off, the kitchen lights were off and Dean was nowhere to be seen. Castiel frowned at this, immediately making his way over to Dean's bedroom, ready to bust down the door and demand what he thought he was doing because he had promised Castiel they would talk when he got back and by God they were going to talk. Castiel didn't even knock, he just threw the door open, mouth already opening to start asking questions when he noticed that all the lights were off in here too and Dean was still nowhere to be seen.

    Castiel's mouth snapped shut, his eyes raking over the room as if Dean might be crouched under his desk or hiding in the corner. He wasn't. He wasn't there so Castiel backed out of the room, pulling his phone from his pocket and hitting Dean's name. Castiel held the phone to his ear, listening to it ring, and ring, and ring some more until Dean's voicemail finally answered. Castiel was starting to get frustrated. He didn't know whether to be angry that Dean was avoiding him or worried because Dean wasn't answering his phone and Dean always answered his phone so what if Dean was lying in a ditch somewhere and Castiel was thinking badly of him? Castiel pulled up his messages and sent one off to Dean.

**Castiel - 11:48pm**

_Dean? Are you coming home? You said we would talk._

    Castiel waited, watching the screen for a reply but none came. He waited a little longer, deciding to head to his room and get out of the suit he was wearing. But even as he sat on his bed in his pyjama pants ready for bed, there was still no reply.

**Castiel - 12:04am**

_Could you at least send me something so I know you're not dead?_

    Castiel hated that he sounded like a needy boyfriend, because that's not what he was, but he needed to know. It was very unlike Dean to stay out without letting Castiel know, and it was very unlike him to ignore Castiel. Now, he realizes the man could be asleep but that wasn't a good enough excuse in Castiel's mind right now. Dean was either dead or avoiding him because of what happened, and he didn't know which was worse.

    Castiel jumped when his phone started vibrating in his hand and momentarily felt relief until he looked at the display and saw that it was Sam calling him, not Dean.

    "Sam?" Castiel answered, holding the phone to his ear and trying not to let the disappointment show in his voice. 

    "Hey, Cas." Sam replied, sounding apologetic already. 

    "Is he okay?" Castiel asked because it was just too big of a coincidence for Sam to call right now and not know something about Dean.

    "Yeah, yeah, he's fine." Sam assured. Castiel did feel relief this time, but it was clouded by the hurt he felt at what that meant.

    "He's avoiding me." Castiel stated, not bothered by the fact that Sam must know about what happened. Sam was a good friend of his, Castiel trusted him and could talk to him almost as easily as Dean.

    "No. No, man, he's- He just drank too much, like usual." Sam explained. Castiel didn't believe it for a second. "He's passed out on the couch, I saw his phone lighting up and saw the messages, just wanted to let you know he's... Not dead." The lie hurt but if Castiel was honest he understood. Sam was Dean's brother, of course his loyalty would lie with him first.

    "Okay." Castiel said, his head dropping to look into his lap. There was a stray thread lying on the inside of his thigh that he picked up and started twirling between his fingers. "Thank you for letting me know."

    "Yeah. No problem, man." Castiel could tell Sam knew he didn't believe him. Castiel doubts that Sam ever expected him to. "He'll- He'll be home tomorrow, okay? I'll make sure of it." Castiel nodded, even though Sam couldn't see him.

    "Can I ask a favour?" Castiel asked, flicking the thread away and falling back onto his bed, looking up at the ceiling.

    "Of course." Sam replied immediately.

    "Text me when he leaves?" Castiel asked pathetically. There was a pause.

    "Sure. Will do." Sam finally agreed.

    "Thank you, Sam. Have a good sleep." Castiel said, suppressing a sigh.

    "You too, Cas. Night." Sam said and then he was hanging up. Cas tossed his phone to the end of the bed, his attention remaining on his ceiling as he finally let that sigh out. This was bad. This was actually really bad. Dean's never avoided him like this before. Sure, they've had their arguments but they've always been resolved within a few hours and Dean's never felt the need to hideout at his brother's over it. Castiel had a bad feeling about all of this. Things were never going to be the same between them, Castiel had known that the minute Dean had walked out of the apartment, but now Castiel had a feeling things were only going to get worse between them.

    Obviously, Dean was disgusted. Not by the fact that he had slept with a  man because Castiel knows that Dean's had his fair share of one-nighters with men, but because it was Castiel. They've known each other for as far back as Castiel's memories stretched. They were family, brothers, and now they've slept together? Castiel could understand the revolt but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. Castiel would think that if you knew someone so well, when something like this happens that you wouldn't run like this. When you cared about someone, you didn't just abandon them and let them think the worst.

    Castiel was quickly going from sad to angry, and he didn't like it.

    With a frustrated sigh, Castiel finished getting ready for bed and tried his best to shut off his mind and go to sleep. 

    It didn't work very well.

    ~

    Castiel woke up late, he could tell already by the warmth of the sun pouring in through his window. Mildly annoyed that this would be the second day in a row he would miss his morning run, Castiel flung the blankets from his bed. There was no way he was going for a run today. He didn't get nearly enough sleep last night as he should have, and what he did get was not restful. That, and he planned to sit on that damn couch until he heard Dean coming through that front door, at which point the would pounce on the man and demand answers. Until that happened, Castiel was going nowhere.

    Castiel pulled on a grey t-shirt laying on his floor and was walking to the bathroom to take care of his morning business when the smell of bacon registered in his nose and he stopped half way down the hall. Bacon? Someone was cooking bacon? Honestly, it took Castiel far too long to figure out who could have possibly been cooking bacon in his apartment but when his mind settled on Dean, Castiel hurried down the hall to check if he was right. He could hear the clanking of a frying pan and the actual sizzling of the bacon as he got closer. He took the corner with slight caution, ready to be disappointed. Knowing the brothers as well as he did, he wouldn't be surprised if it was Sam in his kitchen cooking Castiel a 'feel better' breakfast.

It wasn't.

    "Dean?" Castiel's voice was rough, more so than it usually was. Dean had been rhythmically moving around the kitchen, expertly finding what he needed and moving back to the stove with a bit of a sway in his hips, as if he had a song stuck in his head that he was trying not to dance to. But at the sound of Castiel's voice Dean froze and nearly dropped the four eggs he had just pulled from the fridge. With great effort and an impressive display of beginner level gymnastics, Dean saved the eggs and turned to Castiel, a nervous smile on his face.

    "Hiya, Cas." He said with a small voice, a hopeful smile on his lips. He knew he was in trouble for not coming home yesterday and he was anticipating Castiel to be cross with him. Good, Castiel thought as he stepped into the kitchen without a word. After a moment of the two just starring at each other, Dean cleared his throat and turned back to the stove. "Hungry? I'm making bacon and eggs and hash-browns." Dean said over his shoulder. Castiel chose a spot along the counter, leaning back on it and crossing his arms over his chest as he eyed Dean from behind.

    "You think bacon and eggs is going to make up for the shit you pulled yesterday?" Castiel asked, watching as Dean's shoulders shrank in on himself in guilt.

    "And hash-browns?" Dean added weakly. Castiel ignored this.

    "You do realize that after I spent twenty minutes thinking you were dead in a ditch, and the only reason I knew you weren't is because your _brother_ called me, I spent most of the night unable to sleep because I was so scared that I lost you. I'm still scared, Dean. God, you won't even look at me!" Castiel nearly yelled, getting worked up towards the end because Dean _wouldn't_ look at him and he just needed his best friend to tell him everything is going to be alright, like he always did.

    "You haven't lost me." Dean said down into the eggs he cracked into a new frying pan. This only angered Castiel more.

    "Then look at me, Dean. Tell me to my face because I am freaking out over here and I can't take it anymore." Castiel was trying to calm himself but he's never been as good at hiding his emotions as Dean has.

    "Cas..." Dean started, turning away from the food in the pans."You haven't lost me." He said, voice solid and certain.

    "Why didn't you come home last night?" Castiel asked immediately. He was surprised by the guarded look Dean threw up as he turned away from him once again.

    "Can't a man have a night with his brother without it being a crime?" Dean asked, almost in anger.

    "Not when said man promised his friend he'd be home so they could talk about the fact that they slept together." Castiel retorted. "Not when said man won't answer his phone to let his friend know he was okay. Not when said man-"

    "Okay, I get it. I fucked up." Dean cut him off. "I panicked, okay? I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say to you. I still don't." Dean admitted, pulling down two plates from the cupboard and starting to dish out the food. Castiel turned and pulled down two cups and went to the fridge to get some juice out for them.

    "And you think I do? Dean, we're in the same boat here." Castiel said, now calm that Dean was no longer playing his games. "All I wanted to do yesterday is talk this out, like we are now. We'll figure it out together." Castiel explained, pouring some juice into the cups and setting them on the table. Dean carried the plates over and once Castiel grabbed some silverware, they both sat down to enjoy their meals.

    "That's the thing, Cas." Dean grumbled into his plate, pushing his scrambled eggs around with his fork. "What are we figuring out exactly?" It was a good question, one that had Castiel pausing with his hash-browns half way to his mouth.

    "Where to go from here?" Castiel thought out loud.

    "What does that mean though?" Dean asked. Castiel could see that panic, maybe fear, settling in his eyes and immediately wanted to get rid of it.

    "Just- Are we going to just pretend it never happened? Are we going to laugh it off? Are we-" Castiel paused, but the thought rang loud in his head. _Are we going to explore this?_ "What are we going to do?" Castiel said instead. He couldn't bring himself to even suggest the other thing. He didn't know what it meant that Castiel had thought of it and he didn't know if Dean had thought of it and he doesn't know what he would do if he hadn't.

    There was a long, heavy moment before Dean spoke.

    "What do you want to do?" Dean asked, his plate still untouched. Castiel dropped his fork of hash browns to his plate, giving up on trying to seem interested in food right now.

    "I- I want to figure this out." Castiel said simply.

    "Okay." Deana greed.

    "Okay." Castiel pushed his plate away, making room to cross his arms over the table. "What- What do you remember, from that night?" Castiel asked. He figured the best place to start was the beginning. Dean considered the question for a moment before shrugging.

    "I remember... After the party, we stayed up and had another drink on the couch." Dean began, triggering the memory in Castiel as well. They did, in fact, stay up longer on the couch drinking the rest of the whiskey. Castiel remembers that now. "I remember you said you were bummed that you couldn't get laid. It had been a while, I guess." Dean said a bit awkwardly. Castiel nodded because he remembers this as well, though mostly only because he remembers going into the party set on getting laid. He now wishes he hadn't succeeded. 

    "Right... Yeah, I remember that too." Castiel admitted.

    "I don't really remember much after that." Dean admitted. "Just- Just flashes." He went on, cheeks turning a bit pink. Castiel was disappointed by this because he didn't remember anything. 

    "Well, that's more than me. I don't remember a thing. Nothing." Castiel tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice because surely that was a weird thing to be upset about.

    "Lucky." Dean mumbled.

    "Am I?" Castiel asked immediately. "It's bothering me, Dean." Castiel told him because this was Dean. Dean was his best friend first and damn it, he needed his best friend to figure this out for him. "What's bothering me most is that I can't remember anything. Not even a flash. I don't know what started it, I don't know if I liked it, I don't know who did what-"

    "My ass could tell you a lot of things." Dean grumbled. Castiel gave him a blank look.

    "That's not what I meant." Castiel told him but didn't go any further. Castiel's always been blunt, he doesn't skirt around the topic or worry about awkwardness, but right now... He couldn't find the words to tell Dean he wanted to know who made the first move. He wanted to know how Dean kissed him, who took of who's clothes off first, if Castiel shoved Dean on the bed or if Dean pulled him down onto it. He wanted to know those things. He thinks if he could know those things, this might all be a bit clearer to him. But he couldn't find the courage to ask.

    "Yeah, but still. Damn, Cas. Who would have thought you would be the top?" Dean said, tone teasing in an attempt to lighten the mood. Castiel couldn't help but crack a small smile at this.

    "Oh, I think everyone did." Castiel teased right back, the look on Dean's face totally worth putting the seriousness of the matter on the back burner for now.

    "Excuse me? I'll have you know, before the other night, I had never bottomed before!" Dean exclaimed and Castiel couldn't help but laugh at this.

    "What? And you think I have?" Castiel demanded. This was good. This was familiar, sort of. They've never talked into great detail about their sex life before, but the teasing and ease of the conversion was definitely familiar and very welcome.

    "Uh, yeah. I always thought you were a bottom. At least, you know, when it came to guys." Dean chuckled, meeting Castiel's eyes for longer than a couple seconds for the first time since yesterday morning. Castiel laughed at this. "So you're saying you've never bottomed before?" Dean asked, picking up a piece of bacon and taking a large bite. It seemed his appetite was coming back.

    "Well... I never said that. I just wondered why you assumed I have." Dean chuckled at this and shook his head, taking another bite of his bacon. They fell quiet for a moment, both nibbling at their cooling breakfast. It was a comfortable silence, no they hadn't sorted everything out but Castiel was feeling a little bit better about this whole thing already.

    "I started it." Dean said suddenly, catching Castiel off guard and nearly making him choke on his eggs. Thankfully eggs weren't exactly hard and Castiel was able to swallow it without too much trouble.

    "What?" He asked as soon as he was able to speak.

    "You said it was bothering you, not knowing anything." Dean said, now unable to meet Castiel eyes again. "I started it. I kissed you first, on the couch. You said you wouldn't accept my pity kiss and got up to go to bed. I was going to leave it at that and go to my room but..." Castiel was hanging on to every word Dean said, realizing that Dean had lied when he said he didn't remember anything but not really caring about being lied to. Dean gave a frustrated sigh. 

    "I couldn't." Dean admitted, his food going untouched once again. Castiel's was no different. "You- you looked sad. You were sad because you thought no one wanted you and I couldn't let you think that. So I followed you into your room and... Yeah. I think you can put your own story together from there." Dean finished, hands folding into his lap while he hung his head in a sort of shame. He was embarrassed, Castiel realized. Why, Castiel had no idea because there was no reason for Dean to be embarrassed around Castiel. They've been through so much, knew too much about each other for either one of them to be embarrassed about anything. Why was he-

    "What did you mean... You couldn't let me think that?" Castiel asked, tilting his head to the side as if looking at Dean at a different angle would give him the answers he was looking for. Dean shrugged.

    "I couldn't let you think that was true when it wasn't." Dean shrugged. Dean was trying to tell him something, Castiel could see this and he knew he was on the cusp of understanding it but; he needed more. Dean took in a long shaky breath before looking up and meeting Castiel's eyes. "I wanted you, Cas. I- I _want_ you. I have for- for longer than I care to admit." Dean sighed. There was a war going on in Dean, Castiel could see it now, could see that it's been going on for a while now but he couldn't focus on that right now because did he just-

    "You- What?" Castiel asked, trying to wrap his mind around this. Dean shook his head, bring his elbows up to rest on the table and shoving his face into his hands. He looked upset.

    "I have been in love with you for years, Cas. _Years_." Dean said, voice shaking. "I didn't know how to tell you. How you would react. I- I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want anything to change. But then- that night... I don't know what came over me. Well, I guess I do. Booze. Booze came over me and- Fuck, Cas I am so sorry. What I did was wrong. It was so fucking wrong. You were- You were shit-faced. Like, literally black-out drunk and I took advantage of you when you were vulnerable, in so many ways." Dean was on the verge of tears by now, hands shaking, breaths coming in short, unsteady puffs and all Castiel could think was that he didn't want to see Dean like this. He didn't like seeing Dean like this, he never has.

    "Dean." Castiel said softly, reaching out for Dean's hands, slowly bringing them down from his face too hold them on top of the table in between them. But Dean still wouldn't look at him. "Dean. It's okay. It's alright-"

    "No. It's not, Cas." Dean shook his head. He looked so guilty in that moment, so disgusted in himself and that's when it hit Castiel.

    "That's why you didn't come home." Castiel said out loud. Dean only hung his head. He hadn't come because he felt guilty, he felt like he had taken advantage of Castiel. "Dean. I need you to look at me." Castiel said softly, repositioning his hands in Dean's so he could stroke his thumb over the back of Dean's hand in an attempt to soothe the troubled man. After a moment, Dean finally looked up at Castiel, eyes watery and red rimmed. He was fighting so hard to hold back his tears, it broke Castiel's heart.

    "I'm sorry, Cas." Dean said again but Castiel shook his head.

    "You have nothing to be sorry for. Except maybe allowing our first time to be a time when I wouldn't remember it." Castiel said, to Dean's obvious confusion. Castiel has always known what he's felt for Dean went beyond friendship, beyond 'brotherhood'. He's just never allowed himself to name it anything more than a teensy little crush that obviously went away years ago. Castiel knew why Dean felt so guilty but Castiel didn't feel he should be because Castiel didn't feel taken advantage of, or violated or betrayed. He felt relieved, he felt happy, he felt excited about what this meant.

    "Dean, what scared me most about all this was that fact that I wasn't grossed out by it all. I wasn't freaking out because I didn't want it to have happened, I was freaking out because all I could think about was the fact that I missed it. And- I wasn't sure how you felt about it and if I was the only one feeling that way." The guilt in Dean's eyes lessened, briefly, before he was shaking his head.

    "It doesn't matter. You were still in no condition to-"

    "Hey." Castiel stopped him. "You know me. I'm more truthful when I'm drunk, even more so. If I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't have. Besides. It's not like you were exactly sober. I could argue that I'm the one that should feel guilty because I let you continue when you were obviously not thinking clearly." Castiel shrugged. Dean's brow furrowed in confusion.

    "No, don't be stupid. You didn't do anything-"

    "And neither did you." Castiel interrupted, smiling sweetly at Dean as he processed this. There was a feeling blooming in his chest, a feeling so strong it almost hurt. It was excitement, happiness and just so much love that he couldn't help but laugh in delight. This earned him a strange look from Dean. "Dean... You seem to be missing something crucial here, so I would really appreciate it if you could pull your head out of your ass and realize that I am happy this happened." Castiel said, willing him to understand.

    "Oh." Dean said quietly, seeming to finally wrap his head around this all. Slowly, a smile broke out across his lips. " _Oh_."

    "Now, are you going to get over here and kiss me, or are you going to make me beg first?" Castiel asked, tilting his head in question once more. Dean's shoulders relaxed and his eyes became light again as his smile became a grin.

    "I don't know... I kind of like the thought of you begging." Dean said smugly. Castiel gave him an unimpressed look and shrugged his shoulders.

    "Fine. If you change your mind, you know where to find me." Castiel said, standing up from his chair and heading towards the kitchen door. He was already smiling before he heard the scrape of Dean's chair along the linoleum but smiled even more when he was turned around by his wrist and pushed up against the door frame, Dean's hand immediately finding his hips.

    "Where do you think you're going?" Dean asked, pressing himself in as close as he could get. "You didn't finish your breakfast."

    "Oh, is that what you wanted me to do right now?" Castiel teased, sliding his arms up and around Dean's neck. 

    "Not even close." Dean murmured before closing the distance between their lips and finally, _finally_ kissing Castiel. The kiss didn't last long. It was short and sweet and broken up because the pair of them couldn't stop smiling long enough to kiss the other properly, but Castiel wouldn't have had it any other way.

    "So, what now?" Castiel asked after a moment.

    "What do you mean?" Dean asked incredulously. "We go on our first date, of course." He rolled his eyes for effect. Castiel rolled his own right back.

    "Oh, of course. And just when do you propose we do this?" They were both usually pretty busy during the week.

    "Hmm..." Dean thought for a moment. He knew both their schedules well enough. "Friday?" Castiel was already agreeing but stopped when he remembered something.

    "I... I actually can't. I have a date." Castiel admitted, watching as Dean rolled his eyes again.

    "Oh, I'm sure you do." He said, obviously not buying it.

    "No... Really, I do. From the banquet. I've been bought." Castiel sighed. He wasn't looking forward to dinner with Meg. She seemed like a fun person, but, well... Castiel kind of had his sights on someone else now.

    "Seriously?" Dean asked, arching an eyebrow at Castiel.

    "I'm afraid so." Castiel pouted. Dean thought for a moment.

    "Well. Then I guess we will just have to wait." Dean shrugged. Castiel pouted again, maybe more dramatically than he needed to. "Oh, come on. We've been waiting for years, or at least I have. One week won't kill us. Besides, it's not like you live far." Dean smiled and Castiel had to admit, he had a point. He was sure he could come up with plenty of things they could do to fill the time.

 

    The weirdest thing and possibly the best thing about the following years is that nothing really ever changed between them. Sure, they kiss and cuddle a lot more and have way more sex than they previously did, but everything else stayed the same. They were just Dean and Cas, best friends since forever ago.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it, feedback would be amazing!! :)


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